While this guide focuses on how to be a better wife and the best ways to improve your marriage, the truth is your husband should be doing many, if not all, of these things for you too.
It goes both ways. A rock-solid relationship requires both parties to put in the honest work and have a relentless dedication to commitment. Beautiful things happen when the husband and wife work together as a team. And I mean beautiful! Love is such a fascinating thing that we all must cherish and respect.
If you wish to bring more happiness into your marriage or grow closer to each other, even after years of dating, then read on.
Now, ultimately, the core concept is so simple: Treat him how you would like to be treated. It’s so essential, but both men and women seem to forget about this value so often.
Don’t knock his faults, but do when he’s being a scrub.
He forgets to take out the trash, fix the dishwasher, pick up something at the store, etc. All these things happen, and no man on the planet is perfect. You must understand that mistakes happen, and even if you told him a thousand times, perhaps he has so much going on in his mind with work, chores, etc., that he cannot process your ask. It’s not that he doesn’t respect or love you, but perhaps he is merely frustrated and overwhelmed with life.
Please don’t nag him to death.
If you’ve ever been depressed, you know the hopeless feeling you get when you want to do absolutely nothing, even though you’ve written down goats, set a schedule, etc. Nothing can bring you to accomplish even the smallest of tasks. Sometimes for men, it’s the same feeling where gentlemen know they must do something but can’t find the will to complete it, even when fully capable or having plenty of time.
Often it is out of laziness, but there are a significant number of times where it’s more just falling into a slump. Even if your man is happy and cheerful and works on other non-related tasks, failure to complete your tasks can happen. Don’t judge him, knock him, or chew him out for not doing something that you want to be done. Even though it can be immediately satisfying to scream and complain, don’t! Be patient; patience wins. Be understanding, and give him gentle reminders.
Here’s where things get confusing because sometimes, a lack of completing tasks can be purely out of laziness. Just as men can’t read women’s minds, women can’t always read the minds of men. If he’s watching television for hours on end, it doesn’t mean he’s being lazy and ignoring your task. For all purposes, he could have just worked a brutal shift at work and wanted nothing more than to disengage from the world. Now, if he does this every day, for months on end, there’s an obvious problem with laziness. It would help if you spoke up because now it has become a lack of respect for your ask.
Support his goals, even if you need more time to get what you want.
Allow your man to make sacrifices and be willing to support him in the process. If he wants to spend a bit of the savings on a dream business and is willing to work hard on it, then you better be okay with skipping that vacation trip. You can take a vacation for the next fifty-plus or more years of your life. You can’t take back a lack of support for your husband’s dreams.
Even if you don’t see his vision, support him. Even if you think his plan will fail, support him. You can explain your reasoning to him and give him your thoughts, but don’t flat-out tell him it won’t work. Unless you are God, you honestly do not know the future. Sometimes men can be much more driven, motivated, and creative than they are given credit for. It all goes back to trust. If you trust him, then trust him. Refrain from questioning his every move.
Be his cheerleader.
Let him go after his goals if he dreams of giving the family a better life. Support him if his dream is to be a professional boxer, as bizarre and foolish as it may seem. When he fails, comfort him. Be there for him. Be his rock, not his “I told you so-er.” Many men have crazy goals, but crazy people make things happen in life. I mean, look at the My Pillow guy, for example. Imagine being asked by your husband to drain your savings account to start a pillow company. A pillow company! Today, he’s worth millions and millions of dollars. He had a dream, a vision, and he worked and worked towards it. Even the most straightforward business plans can work, but only if your man is willing to put in the hours and time.
Speaking of hours and time, understand that you can only truly support his goals if you are okay with sacrificing your quality time together. Businessmen work, and they work, and they work. You get less face time, but you give him a deep sense of purpose and satisfaction in life as he reaches his goals. As hard as it may be at times, you must be okay with making sacrifices. He will forever appreciate you for it, and your relationship will only grow stronger and stronger.
Respect his wishes and requests; only some things are worth fighting over.
Look, I understand. You don’t have to be a doormat that gets walked all over. When it comes to showing your husband respect goes hand and hand with gaining his trust and admiration. If you are talking to a male friend and it’s making your husband very uncomfortable, then you must stop communication when asked to do so.
Why in the world would you be willing to argue over something like this? Is that other guy really that deserving of an argument between you and your husband? Who cares if it’s a lack of self-esteem or being jealous, etc.? If you respect your husband, then stop.
If your husband was talking to another woman and getting too friendly, and you asked him to stop… Would you really want to argue over her? No, you wouldn’t. You are more important than her. Don’t invite drama into your life; you’re only going to piss off yourself and your man.
At the end of the day, you should respect your partner’s feelings and concerns, not argue over them.
Look, not everything needs to be argued over. Men submit. Women submit. It’s a balance of both parties finding common ground that they can agree on. You have to pick and choose your battles. Not everything is worth fighting over. And that’s the point.
Remember, it’s not just about talking to other people; it could be as simple as asking to turn down the loud music. Perhaps he had a hard day and just wanted to relax in silence. It’s all about being respectful to one another. If the kids were screaming all day and just wanted to nap, you wouldn’t want to hear blasting music, either. Be kind to each other.
Surprise him with gifts, massages, dinner, bedroom invites, etc.
Keep life interesting. Let him know you are, you are thinking about him randomly, etc., by surprising him with all sorts of kind gestures and small gifts. Notice his sock drawer is low? Buy him some cozy wool socks and gift them to him. Get him a cheap multi-tool to carry around. Twenty bucks for a lifetime of enjoyment? Yes, please. I suggest Victorinox.
Has he complained about back pain from working out in the yard? Rub his shoulders. Put together a yummy lunch for him to take to work. Steak and potatoes will fare just fine, ladies.
Invite him into the bedroom. Don’t make him initiate every time. Grab him and pull him into the closet, bathroom, etc. Make things fun and spontaneous, and get a bit courageous, girl.
Keep his belly full and his balls empty.
Funny saying, but wow, this line has so much truth. Cherilyn had a good laugh over this one. Let’s face it, these are the two of man’s most significant needs and wants. Honestly, if you can do these two things while being a nice woman, then the rest of the things you do are icing on the cake.
Just remember, these things won’t solve all of your problems at a certain point in a relationship. You can do these things daily, but if you’re a crazy woman who loves to argue and initiates fight after fight, then expect him to bounce. There’s definitely more to a relationship than just pleasure and nourishment. The longer you are together, the more you start noticing the other things that make a connection so beautiful.
Decide who the leader in the relationship is
Cherilyn’s opinion differs on this subject, but here’s my viewpoint. I get it; modern times mean women are now taking charge of the family, finances, etc. I believe the husband is responsible for being the family’s leader, but it’s a traditional value that seems to be dying out these days. It’s entirely dependent on the relationship, however.
Don’t take it out of context and say that I think all men should be leaders or that all women should be leaders.
For most men, life is a game of war, it’s harsh and unforgiving, and they have to figure out how to lead or be losers in life. It makes sense that men want to be family leaders when they strive to be great men. A man should be confident, strong, hardworking, and supportive of his children and wife. Why in the world would you want to be a weak man who doesn’t value any of those honorable characteristics?
Think of it this way, if you and your husband were out shopping and someone stole your purse… You would expect your husband to fight back, protect you and perhaps recover your purse. That is being a leader, a protector, etc. In the opposite regard, if someone were to rob your husband of his wallet, a woman most likely isn’t going to intervene (unless he’s being beaten, of course.)
Now, this is an extreme example for some, but life is full of extremes; it’s just reality. My point is, why would you want a man that is not willing to defend you? That’s pathetic, in my opinion. A leader would never allow you to be touched. A man who is a leader who gives his all to protect you and your children. Period.
When it comes to relationships, decide if you are with a family man who can navigate life or a man who is lost at sea.
Remember, just because there is one leader does not, under any circumstance, mean the other person in the relationship can’t be a strong individual who contributes to significant family decisions.
Be a part of his hobbies, even if only for a small part.
Cherilyn likes pool (billiards), but I’m not a huge fan myself. She’s a pool shark and will run a table but won’t admit it always. Even though the game of pool does not enamor me as she is by it, I still will go watch her play and have, at times, joined a league with her. I do it because it’s fun, sure, but more importantly, it means a lot to her. Her happiness makes me happy.
Conversely, I enjoy firearms and fine marksmanship, while Cherilyn is not a fan. I could shoot for hours on end practicing while she’s just not into it. And honestly, that’s no problem at all! What makes our relationship strong is that she is willing, from time to time to shoot with me at the range. If I had a competition, she would attend and watch me strive to win the match. At the end of the day, it’s supporting one another.
You don’t have to dive as deep into a hobby as your partner has, but you have to be willing to simply support their pursuit of happiness. Speaking of hobbies, try to find a few that you and your partner have in common. You may go through a handful of hobbies that you agree and disagree on, but be patient. Life is a game of adventure. Experiment with hobbies, and just have fun trying new things out together. You will ultimately form ever-lasting memories together, and that’s the point of this whole thing.
Don’t judge him through the bad times.
If you genuinely love him, it doesn’t matter what car he drives, his clothes, etc. It doesn’t matter how low his bank account balance is if he is working towards changing it. Be with him, to be with him. All of the other material possessions don’t matter.
We all go through ups and downs financially, and if you want to show your husband how much you respect and trust him, stick with him through the bad times.
Perhaps he has just been laid off from work and is struggling to find a new job. Don’t hound him about not being able to pay the bills or him not looking hard enough for a job. Be patient and understanding. If he has to sell his Mercedes and drive a junker for a bit, then so bit it. Be proud of your man. Be proud of who he is and what he is capable of, not what he currently has at this very moment. Or, worse, what other people think about his possessions. No one cares!
Give him time to figure it out. Arguing will not solve your problems. It will only stress him out more and more. Obviously, you should pressure and support him, but don’t ridicule him over mistakes, failures, or lack of success immediately. So many billionaires and millionaires have worked their way out of bankruptcy to be successful again.
Drop the arguments and drama
Arguments can be so satisfying when it comes to getting things off your chest. The emotion of ups and downs can be like a rollercoaster of feelings. Drama can create excitement in your life and make things all sorts of crazy. However, that doesn’t mean you should engage in any of it.
Arguments and drama slowly chip away at relationships and erode trust and passion. Arguments give us immediate attention, but this kind of attention doesn’t raise us up. It, instead, brings us down.
Now there’s nothing wrong with debating differing opinions and getting into minor arguments to resolve significant differences. After all, disagreement is healthy. It ultimately helps both the husband and wife figure out how to find balance with each other. How to better understand each other. How to keep our cool and calm, etc. How to communicate better.
With that said, don’t argue over the small things. Disagreements happen all the time in relationships. Fights happen, etc. But you’ve got to know when to let things go. When to accept being wrong. You must understand how the other party is feeling and be okay with it, even if you don’t wholeheartedly agree with their point of view. Give yourself time to cool down. Walk away; take a breather.
It’s so easy to go into rage mode over something so silly, so small. Don’t let it happen. Do you really want to ruin your entire day together over a spilled glass of milk? Clean it up and move on. Obviously, the glass of milk is a basic example, but there are all sorts of comparable moments that most couples argue over.
Figure out what your problems are and resolve them right now.
Cherilyn and I both hate doing dishes. It’s a tedious, repetitive task and the dishes pile up day after day. We often complain about it to each other enough that it becomes a problem in our relationship. Rather than let our love for each other erode, we had to stop for a moment and figure it out.
Rather than argue over who does the dishes, we decided to hire a maid since both of us had no interest in doing them. We could have a spotless kitchen for the price of a hundred dollars once in a blue moon. It’s one less stressor in our life. We could easily spend a hundred dollars on one dinner out. Why not use that money to make our lives so much less stressful?
We tried the whole you do this chore, and I do that, but it didn’t work. Rather than play the blame game, we had to stop for a moment, take a breather and get creative with our options. I mean all of our options, not just you do this, and I do that.
It’s incredible how couples can just argue over the same things again and again but never get to reach a resolution. You must just stop, talk and figure out a creative solution together. Telling one party they must do this, or that just doesn’t work. You will blame each other forever.
If you want to build a better relationship, then tackle your problem areas. Not just once, but reassess from time to time. Everyone wins!
Communicate and tell stories, share experiences, etc.
Even after years of being together, I still find myself sharing stories with Cherilyn. And I still find her telling me things I have never heard before. You can learn so much about your partner years and years after first meeting them. When you think you know it all, you genuinely don’t.
Take the time to ask your husband about random things in his life. Perhaps you drive by an old building under construction and randomly ask if he’s ever done any home improvement projects. Perhaps he forgets about the time he helped finish a basement and has a killer, a hilarious story to share. Now, you can both bond over a fun chat. All of these years, and you’re now just learning about it!
We can talk about many things together, but we just have to be in the moment and ready to ask one another. Constantly ask questions. Road trips and car rides are the best time for this.
Apologize and admit your mistakes
No matter how hard we argue over something or how angry I get, I will always apologize after taking a breather. I could be furious, times a million! But eventually, we soothe things over with an “I’m sorry” and hug it out.
Be the bigger person and make things right. As hard as it is, admit you made a mistake. Even if you say, “look, I understand where you are coming from, and I wasn’t considering your feelings.”
Heal each other with your words and honesty. Never, ever hold grudges over arguments. If you can’t make amends at the end of the day or the next day at the latest, then you have some serious problems.
Don’t let your husband make all of the apologies. A good wife will initiate an apology from time to time too. It’s all about balance here. If you truly love each other, in the grand scheme of things, one argument doesn’t matter at all! It is a fart in the wind.
Show affection, more affection, and even more affection
Be warm to your husband. Men do so many physical, stressful things in life that gentle touches and warm affection can truly feel like the greatest thing in the world, ever. A female’s touch is so soothing and heartwarming, as is a kiss, hug, etc.
Unfortunately, a lot of women fail to realize just how much affection men truly want. Some wives get so distracted with work, childcare obligations, chores, personal worries, etc., that affection just goes out of the window. Stop and take a moment to be in the moment with your partner from time to time.
A good marriage needs affection and lots of it. Rest assured, ladies, if you are drowning him in affection, he will tell you. More often than, you will not provide enough affection than too much. Smothering only happens when you refuse to leave him alone when he asks for some space or me-time.
Remember, affection can be touch, the act of doing things, and so much more outside of the bedroom.
Praise him for his good deeds.
Was he a good dad by practicing soccer with his son? Tell him how much he has progressed thanks to his father’s guidance. How well do you think your son will become on the field, etc.? How much you value and admire his patience while teaching your son.
This is just a very general example, but the same goes for virtually anything. Even home improvement tasks. Tell him how well it looks if he just finished installing tile in the bathroom. Explain how the tile really brings the room together and how great of a job he has done. It’s so simple and so encouraging.
For his honorable deeds, praise him. You will only motivate him to be a better man by encouraging him. He will come to respect you more and more, as he will know that you genuinely appreciate everything he does. Show some gratitude.
No phones at the dinner table.
Period, no exceptions. This a hard task for most millennials these days, but even the boomers are struggling with this too. Focus on each other. Too many couples want to have a nice night out but end up glued to their screens.
Good conversations and bonding moments happen at the dinner table. Even small talk can be a great way to connect. You don’t need to always have deep conversations.
Outside of the dinner table, your husband is more important than your phone. Know when to put your phone down and give him your full and undivided attention. Don’t be rude.
Lend a hand with the finances
Don’t leave all of the finances to your husband to figure out. Check the card balances, monthly budgets, make saving plans, etc. Your high credit card balance and shopping habits are not your husband’s problem to figure out. You are just as responsible.
Don’t make major purchases without consulting the other party first. By major, I mean a new house or vehicle, things that will wreck a budget.
If your husband purchases toys or hobby-related things, don’t harp over how much money he is wasting. Your husband shouldn’t have to hide something he’s purchased and sneak it into the house. Trust each other; that’s just silly. Tell him if you feel he’s being too excessive with his spending. You should expect him to do the same for you too.
Money is often what ruins a great relationship, so get a hand on it from the get-go. Don’t panic if you’re low on funds and argue over what the other person bought or didn’t save, etc. Figure it out. Work on solutions, and stop obsessing over things you can’t fix.
Guide and praise him in the bedroom
You are both learning about each other’s bodies and what gets them going. Men aren’t mind readers either. Tell him what you like, what you need, etc., in the bedroom. Don’t leave him to figure it all out on his own, then act disappointed when he doesn’t do what you want. Men cannot read minds, period.
Get wild with your husband, explore new things, be adventurous, and respect each other’s likes and dislikes. By trusting each other through new experiences, you’ll grow closer together.
Don’t leave your husband to bring excitement into the bedroom. A good wife will try her part to make things interesting too.
Speaking of the bedroom, be honest with your husband about your level of enjoyment. Tell him he’s doing a good job to boost his ego, even if he’s not an all-star in the bedroom. Then, make suggestions and offer tips on how he can improve. Be honest, and your honesty will be noted and appreciated.
Challenge him to strive for more
It goes beyond just not doing everything and anything for him. By challenging him, I mean to suggest he take on new home improvement projects or some other task that he can take tremendous pride in completing.
Don’t let life get so boring and stale that he becomes a dull man. Encourage him to grow as a better man, and give him a nudge to strive for more achievements in life.
Don’t be a know it all.
If you know so much more than your husband, then why did you marry an idiot? Let’s face it; no one is an expert on anything and everything! Women, there are a lot of men out there with a remarkable level of intelligence; hopefully, you married one of those guys. Be open to learning and being taught new things without taking it personally. You are not stupid, and chances are your man is not trying to make you feel that way at all.
In the opposite regard, be willing to teach him things. Read a book or two and share what you have learned with him from time to time. Share your knowledge with each other. Be open to trying new ways to complete a task, even if you don’t agree with his process or method.
Don’t project manage his life.
Can you imagine being told what to do, when, and how to do it day after day? Yeah, you’d go crazy. When it comes to a man’s life, avoid trying to project manage it or, in other words, control it. Let your husband live life the way he chooses to. Focus on living your life, not crafting his.
In some regards, men do, however, need a lot of help organizing their chaotic lifestyle.
Be his ride or die
Trust him. trust is truly everything. When Cherilyn and I were hunting for land to build our home, we came across a private, gated road with a ton of warnings. Cherilyn was not okay with driving up the road, but I was. She was uncomfortable but trusted me enough to stay in the car and keep her cool. When we got to the top, we found the property of our dreams, and we now have our own custom house on the lot.
Sometimes you just have to trust your partner in worrisome times. While husbands can make a lot of stupid choices, sometimes you have to just go with the flow.
Allow him to enjoy his life and enjoy it with him.
Nothing everything in life must be work or chores. The occasional video game night, movie marathon, hobbies, time with friends, etc., are all okay. If your husband works hard, is motivated, and gets things done, then let him relax on his own accord.
Take accountability for your own actions, the good and the bad.
If you make a mistake, own up to it. If you forgot to do something, that doesn’t mean you can instantly put the blame on him. Or say something along the lines of, “well, you should have known this needed to be done,” etc.
Don’t go down the rabbit hole of always blaming him for everything.
When it comes to things like cheating, there is no excuse. Ever. It is truly disgusting for a wife to cheat; a complete lack of respect for her partner and immoral behavior.
If you no longer love your husband and feel the relationship isn’t working out, then be honest before being dishonest. Don’t go behind someone’s back who genuinely loves or has loved you.
Even when you feel you are in a hopeless relationship and a resolution is not possible, then make a clean break. Be the better person, not the backstabber.
Understand that your husband has no control over his family
He can correct and reprimand them for inappropriate actions or words towards you, but ultimately, he cannot choose the family he was born with. Don’t shame him for something out of his control.
Some men are incredible human beings but were simply born into terrible families with terrible people. They could be the complete opposite of their family members.
Don’t bring your husband down by using his family against him; it’s just not fair. Be accepting of who he is, not what he was born with. Even if you don’t like his family, make an honest effort to at the very least, treat them like human beings.
In another light, remember he has control over his friends. If one is being disrespectful towards you, he should know about it. The same is true of your girlfriends.
Be an outstanding mother and a role model to children in the house.
This includes step-children or adopted children who are not your children. Protect them, stand up for them, teach them what they need to know in life, etc. Be not just a good mother but a great mother who your husband has so much admiration for.
Be your children’s hero, their role model. Their warrior, source of comfort in dark times, etc. Men have so much respect for women who raise kids courageously and responsibly. He will forever be grateful to you.
Put him first over everything else.
Again, you don’t have to be a doormat here and get walked all over. There will be times when you want to have made prior engagements and want to stick with them. And there’s nothing wrong with keeping them.
If it’s a reasonable ask, then put him over work, friends, shopping, hobbies, etc. Try to put your relationship with him over all of the less important things in life.
In another extreme light, if he has a panic attack and you’re on the phone with your girlfriend, don’t tell him to wait. Call your friend back and comfort him. In other words, be there for him. Always, in the sense of when he needs you the most.
Don’t hold a grudge against your husband.
That thing he did or didn’t do two weeks ago? Yeah, it’s time to let it go. Holding grudges beyond a day or two is a terrible thing that only quietly deteriorates a relationship.
If you have a problem that you just can’t get over, talk about it. Be open until you are able to forgive and forget. Too many people just bottle things up and then explode all at once. You just can’t do that.
Every man and woman on the planet makes mistakes, forgets things, etc. Unless someone is dead or the world ends, don’t focus on things you can’t change. Don’t overreact! I understand. However, it’s quite easy to do.
If things continue to happen that upset you greatly, then step up and call him out. Have a heart-to-heart conversation and work together to resolve things.
Be a social butterfly.
Take his mom, sister, or other relatives out to lunch. Communicate with them and gain their respect. While some folks are impossible to please, you can always try from time to time. Get to know your children’s teachers, doctors, etc. Forge good relationships with your neighbors and his friends.
When it comes to being a social butterfly who works for him, help him make introductions. For instance, Cherilyn and I were at a mineral and gem show. I’ve been trying to find other guys to rock hound with, but I just wasn’t in the mood to talk with anyone that day. We came across a booth with a nice gentleman, I bought a few things, and Cherilyn mentioned that I was trying to rock-hound with others before walking away. I ended up getting a number and a potential rock-hounding friend. Now, that was so cool of her to do. I never asked, but she just took the initiative. It’s small social things like that which can majorly impact a relationship.
You truly don’t have to be super bubbly or talkative; just be friendly, and magic will happen.
Do nice things without being asked to do so.
Here’s a kind gesture: If your husband just cooked a hot steak and suddenly got an important business call that takes him out of the kitchen and into the office, go ahead and wrap it in foil for him. It’s such a simple thing, but small things like that can add up day after day.
These things don’t have to be spur of the moment, however. You can also put new, clean sheets on the bed. Do his laundry, clean bathrooms, organize his car or desk, and so. None of these are requirements, but when done randomly as acts of kindness, they are sure to be appreciated.
These things tell him that you care, that you are thinking about him, and that you love and appreciate him too. We all, both men and women, need a helping hand from time to time. We shouldn’t have to ask every single time. If you think something will improve your partner’s day, do it!
One thing in particular that also comes to mind is waking up before him to make breakfast and brew coffee. A “good morning hubby,” plate of bacon, and fresh coffee are enough to make any man feel like he has just woken up to heaven.
Be independent, not needy.
Don’t ask your husband to do everything for you all the time. It’s annoying as hell, ladies. Yes, things can be heavy, dirty, etc., but you’ve got to give yourself more credit than you think you deserve. You are truly capable of so much. Women can be so strong!
At a certain point, if you are capable of doing something, then you need to put in some effort and do it. At the very least, attempt it. Put in an honest go at it.
Look, I get it, it’s so much easier to just have someone do things for you, but if it gets to the point where he’s waiting on you hand and foot, it’s become too much of an ask. Some women don’t even realize it, but by the end of the day, you’ve asked him to do hundred-plus things, and he’s burnt out. I feel like a lot of women today won’t notice how much they ask their husbands to do. And there’s nothing wrong with that, as men always read women wrong.
But as a good measure, try to only ask for help when you truly need it. Suppose you can offer to help him even when not asked to do so. Be a team player!
Keep your word consistently.
If you say you will do something or be somewhere for him, then you must do it. Your word is everything. Don’t promise the world and never deliver. At a certain point, it will turn into a sense of lying, dishonesty, and a lack of trust.
If you go out and say you’ll be home at 6, but find out that you’re more likely to be home at 10, then don’t just show up at ten unexpectedly. Communicate with him. I get it; keeping your word isn’t always possible, but you can, at the bare minimum, keep your partner in the loop. It’s a horrible feeling to have to worry about your partner.
If you say you’re going to go do archery with him, or perhaps take a road trip, then don’t back out of it. Do it. Even if you don’t feel into it, it sounds boring, etc. Your promise is never to be broken. Make sure he can rely on you. Make sure he can trust you when it comes to making commitments. You may think one broken promise is no big deal, but how about a thousand broken promises throughout a relationship? It adds up and up.
Besides, keeping your word is simply a part of being a good human being. It shows respect for one another. Remember, walk the walk, don’t just talk the talk.
Shower him with compliments from time to time
Make him feel important to you. Let him know that he is your world.
Men don’t really hear compliments all that often, and most will come from their mothers. Women, on the hand, well, it’s a different story. From time to time, tell him how sharp he looks in that suit, how you like his haircut, how wonderful he was in bed, how much you appreciate and love him, etc.
Make him feel wanted, appreciated, and royal. He will feel like a king and love being around you. That’s not to say that you should shower him with compliments all the time, but stop for a moment occasionally and be kind to him. You can even make the compliment non-personal and tell him how much fun you had during your date night. Or how great of an idea it was that he came up with.
Be excited to see him.
I remember reading about this one story where a man’s wife would wait at the front door for her husband to return from work. She did this for forty-plus years or so. It was so beautiful and kind. The moment they locked eyes with each other, they hugged at the front door. There was so much happiness between the two, and all of it could be found in this special moment. Nothing else mattered, just their cute moment together.
I feel like if I suggested that today without telling you the story, many would assume that I’m being too brute about gender roles. But honestly, it has nothing to do with that. It could be the husband waiting at the front door if he was a stay-at-home dad. None of that matters!
The point is you should be excited to see each other and turn everyday moments into special occasions. Even something as simple as waiting for your partner to get home can be such a wonderful experience shared between two people.
In the same regard, you can surprise him at work, or schedule with him in advance, to have lunch in the middle of the day. I know of couples who have had lunch together for tens of years, and that time together means the world to them. Try to create those magical moments whenever possible, even if they seem so basic at first glance.
Look good for him
Selina Gomez’s “Good for You” song has a lot of truth in it. In reality, men are visual creatures. They can’t help it; it’s just how it is. Folks say judging one another based on appearances is shallow, but it’s in human nature to do it. No one wants an unattractive, ugly partner, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
A good wife will do her part to please her man’s visual desires when it comes to relationships. She’ll dress up for her, go to the gym to stay in shape, shower, brush her teeth, smell wonderful, etc. The same as if she was dating him for the first time and desperately trying to attract him with her magical ways.
Just because you are married doesn’t mean you should just give up on your appearance. Even though weight loss is a touchy subject, there are some truth bombs that no one talks about. If you’re overweight, then chances are the flame has flickered in your relationship. Shed some weight and see how he reacts. Most men, if not all, will go wild over you. It can reignite that spark.
No one wants to lose weight, though, because it sucks, and body shaming is the new bullying. It’s easy to be comfortable and look however you want. But forget about all that; this is between you, your husband, and no one else. Do what makes you two happy and attracted to each other. Don’t worry about how society views things. Just because it’s okay to be overweight does not mean your husband will be attracted to an overweight woman. There is no arguing with that, period. You can call him shallow, etc., but that’s not going to change anything. Ever. Don’t fight over it.
Besides, if you are overweight, then why not lose some weight and become the healthiest, fittest, and best version of yourself? You do want the best for yourself, right? Why would you not? Respect yourself and your body.
Get a dog, no, seriously.
Cherilyn is the crazy one who brings home new animals, and I am completely okay with that! Animals are such wonderful creatures that married couples bond greatly over. Dogs bring families closer together, and that’s just one of the many benefits of adopting a cute pup. A good wife will care for her dog just as well as her own children. As a man’s best friend, a husband is going to take note of just how well you take care of his little buddy.
Now, there are a lot of incredible women out there who raise livestock, such as chickens, goats, alpacas, etc. too. Some women grow their own food in home gardens as well. It’s that caring nature that men appreciate and respect so much.
Try it out; you might like homesteading things. If not, a puppy is a great way to form a stronger relationship and a closer family.
Have your own thing going
Speaking of homesteading, it’s fun and rewarding and gets you back out in nature. But you don’t have to do homesteading to be happy or entertained; truthfully, there are a billion hobbies for women out there.
The point I’m getting at is that a good wife should have some level of independence and be able to have her own thing going. Have your own hobbies, goals, dreams, etc. Don’t rely on your man to be your own form of entertainment.
In another regard, don’t rely on your husband to set all the date nights, come up with couple’s activities, etc. Take charge of things from time to time.
Don’t let gossip, gab, or opinions affect your relationship.
Take people’s advice with a grain of salt and see your husband through your own eyes and experiences.
It does not matter what your friends think about your man. You can tell them all sorts of stories about him or your relationship, but ultimately they are not married to him; you are! No one ever tells the whole story, and we all sway facts to favor our own beliefs. Don’t let your girlfriends convince you that your husband is this or that type of person or that he should do this or that thing for you. Stay away from the ladies who just want to talk down about your man because they are secretly jealous or envious.
Some women always dish out advice to other women; meanwhile, their marriage is on the rocks, and they fight every night in the privacy of their homes. In public, they look like a happy-going couple. You know your man the best, not them! It’s terrible that some women can convince others to end a normal relationship.
Go with your gut. Put in the effort first, work with each other, be a good team, and be good to each other. All of the outside opinions and gossip don’t matter. At the end of the day, how well your trust, respect, and love each other matters. You can work on the rest if you believe in your heart that you are both decent human beings.
Listen, listen and listen some more.
Be there to talk about anything and everything with him. If he’s going through some tough times, let him get things off his chest and vent. Even if the subject revolves around work and the topic is incredibly dull.
You don’t have to be his personal therapist here, but by listening, you can help him get out of the rut he is in. Often, men simply want to just say what’s on their minds, and doing so, helps them move forward. They aren’t looking for creative solutions, advice, etc. but just want to blurt things out and have someone, anyone, hear them out.
It’s so simple, but it can mean so much to someone. All that’s required is ears and some eye contact.
Be honest; lies aren’t for lovers.
Lies lead down a rabbit hole that you cannot get yourself out of.
Be honest with your partner; you shouldn’t have to lie to them about anything. Don’t allow yourself to lie about minor things, which only snowball into bigger things. Small lies seem so innocent, but it’s a habit and a pattern that can eventually become destructive. Learn to handle the truth, even when it hurts him or upsets you. You two will grow stronger as a couple as you discover how to face your faces and confront each other.
All said and done, be trustworthy.
Control your tongue, and don’t humiliate him.
Oh, how satisfying it is to say whatever you want. In the heat of an argument, you’re just itching to drop that one terrible insult that makes you the winner and puts the debate to bed. It’s so easy to get lost in those moments and say things that we really shouldn’t or don’t even mean. Terrible things, awful things, etc.
Our partners don’t forget these things. Even things that were said and not truly meant hurt and hurt badly for a long time. You can apologize, but you can never unsay things you shouldn’t have.
Be wise with your words. Words hurt.
In the same regard, don’t say hurtful things behind his back when has doesn’t have the ability to defend himself fairly.
Never physically harm your husband.
It sounds so simple, right? Yet, many couples find themselves striking each other. It’s not like this uncommon in relationships; there are so many studies that prove it happens far too often these days.
There are a lot of men out there who get punched, slapped, kicked, etc., by their wives, but they have enough morals to never, ever hit back. Women can suffer from abuse too. However, we’re talking about being a good wife, so let’s focus on what you can do. For one, it is never okay to strike your partner under any circumstance.
Physical harm, a total lack of self-control, succumbing to childish emotions, and exceptionally disrespectful. Trust is lost with every act of violence, which can be incredibly difficult to rebuild. Physical abuse of any kind is emotionally draining and damaging to your significant other.
A few drinks are no big deal, but getting hammered every single night? No, thank you. The same can be said about being in a committed marriage and still going out to the club, bars, etc. Now, there’s nothing wrong with the occasional party, but many people out there refuse to grow up these days.
It’s simply not cool. Some women assume it’s a man’s insecurity, but let’s face it, if you’re married, you shouldn’t be out most nights. You should be at home or involved in positive hobbies that consume your time, not toxic ones that harm your relationship.
Why even argue over these things? When married, you must consider your partner’s feelings, not your own. If they are uncomfortable with you going out so frequently, be considerate.
Be flexible and accommodating
Drive him in the car occasionally, pump gas in the tank, and do things that are often considered a man’s job. In other words, do simple things that aren’t asking all that much. No task should be beneath you. Share the chores and responsibilities with your husband and be a good partner and teammate. I love driving Cherilyn around, but sometimes
I just want to be driven, and I appreciate it so much when she drives.Let’s face it; a nobleman should always open the door for a woman. Now, imagine returning that courteous favor in some form or another. You can be treated like a princess, but don’t forget that once in a while, you must treat your husband like a king.
In another light, don’t be too good for something. You’ll miss out on so many experiences you can have together. Be open to trying new things with your hubby. Get outside of your comfort zone, girl!
Even more ways on how to be a better wife:
– Be his best friend. Laugh together, share new experiences together, etc.
– Keep his secrets and never, ever share his doubts with others.
– Overlook his pet peeves whenever possible. No one is perfect.
– Communicate with him when you’re having a bad or off day.
– Don’t take things too seriously; let life happen.
– Be selfless. Don’t be me, me, me. There are two in a relationship.
– Learn to control your anger and let go of the frustration. Seek healthier outlets.
– Set wild goals that you can achieve together or simply dream of.
– Consider his past and take note of his unique perspective on things.
– Have empathy and compassion for him.
– Don’t make assumptions or jump to conclusions.
– Travel with him, and you’ll create lifelong memories and experiences together.
– Take educational classes together, such as pottery. Build skills together.
– Accept change, even when it throws you off course and onto a new route in life.
– Focus on the present moment you share together. Don’t stress about the future.
– Nap with him occasionally. Some of the most heartwarming moments are spent in bed.
– Volunteer together; you’ll both enjoy the rewarding experience.
– Learn a new skill such as crocheting and make him socks or something fun.
– Believe that he genuinely wants the best for you.
– Be coachable and willing to learn from him. But also patient when you’re the teacher.
– Be dependable, a partner he can always count on no matter what.
– Be enthusiastic, happy, and driven. It’s so contagious.
– Be frugal; focus on your relationship, not the things you have or have not.
– Be hardworking in whatever you do. Motivated women are attractive.
– Have integrity, morals, and ethics that you follow. Be a good wife, woman, and human being.
– Be reasonable and fair. Don’t expect the world from him at this very moment.
– Be vulnerable, share deep disappointments, heartaches, etc., with him.
– Share your successes with him first. Let him be the first person you tell either in person or on the phone.
– Be patient. Don’t expect him to drop everything for you at any time.
– Encourage him to dress sharp; it will boost his confidence and self-worth.
– Focus on the abundance of good moments, not the few select bad ones.
– Have fun, go out, spend time together, and keep that youthful dating vibe going.
– Give them space when they need it, but be available.
– Know what you want in a relationship and how he is a part of it.
– Understand that all relationships have ups and downs, even the best ones.
– Appreciate that he is different; everyone has their own quirks.
– Don’t force him to change or be someone he’s not.
– Pick your battles; not everything must be fought over.
– Don’t take each other too seriously; know when to laugh and joke around.
– Be willing to compromise in order to make things work.
– Tell them what you’d love and why; don’t criticize or demand things.
– Cook and eat your meals together.
– Check in with them on the way home from work, on trips out, etc.
– Don’t rely on him to be your sole source of happiness in life.
– Don’t share revealing photos on social media for attention.
– Be patient when your husband is sick and whiney.
– Encourage him to socialize; don’t be his only friend.
– Let him do things his way first before demanding it’s done your way.
– Always work to improve your relationship; it is work.
– Stand up for him; don’t let others talk down on him.
– Don’t let work stress make its way into your home or relationship.
– Learn his love language; every man is unique.
– Respect his space, such as a private office or man cave.
– Discover and understand his own unique communication style.
– Be present during conversations, don’t multi-task or be on your phone. Truly hear him.
– Be willing to fail and make mistakes with him. It’s how we learn in life and grow together.
– Laugh off the uh-ohs. Find humor in the ridiculousness of things.
What have you done to be a better wife?
How have you improved your marriage? Speak up girlfriend! Let us know and we’ll include your stories in the guide.
Remember, one blurb can go a long way in helping women across the globe find happiness in their own marriages.